Guiding Principles Regarding Screen Time

We talk a lot about “screen time” and what it looks like to bring glory to God with the way we use our devices.  For more in depth reading on this topic I recommend The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in its Proper Place by Andy Crouch.

While it is crucial that we parents monitor and protect our children’s screens from improper use, we cannot monitor their friends’ screens as well, and we won’t do any of it perfectly!  Ultimately, these conversations with our children have to be about their own hearts, their own willingness to bring these issues under the lordship of Christ, and their own obedience to God’s Word.

The following are some thoughts we discussed in our November LCS Morning Minute. This is all the stuff to decide, talk about, and prepare for BEFORE handing the child a screen;

• Delay delay delay and then wait some more!  (on screens as well as certain functions such as social media, youtube, texting, facetime, and communication/social apps)
• Goal of technology: honor the Lord and others with the way I use it
• Parents have all passwords for every screen and account
• Parents filter and restrict content on home router as well as individual screens (see list of software, see link below, see tutorials below)
• (https://protectyoungeyes.com/how-to-block-porn-on-any-device-for-free/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-block-porn-on-any-device-for-free)

• Dinner table and car rides (except for long trips) are screen free zones
• Screens are used in a common area and not my bedroom
• Elementary students – do not use screens together with peers unless a parent is monitoring (i.e., football games, neighborhood, slumber parties, play dates, etc.)
• Follow technology rules wherever I am: school – put it away, church – it is used only for scriptures in a pinch (an actual physical Bible is preferred), movies – silence it and stay off it, driving – turn it off!  
• Screens are docked at night in the central charging location 
• Screens go to bed before we do and wake up after we do
• A fireplace is the original glowing rectangle, and centered the family together in the home where they gathered to tell stories, sing, share, and work with one another.  It would be very sad for these family times to be replaced by a different kind of glowing rectangle.  Screens should be used together for a purpose, not aimlessly and alone.
• Having a cell phone (or any device) is a privilege that also comes with responsibility; it can be taken away if not being used in a responsible and wise way, or if the child is not fulfilling responsibilities, being kind and respectful to parents and siblings, and/or demonstrating trustworthiness.
• Privacy is not a right for a child/adolescent.  Parents can and (sometimes) will read my emails, texts, and whatever else is on the screen.  This is because my parents are being loving, not nosey.
• For anyone under 18, the Apple ID should be Child ID – (Family Sharing with the Parent as the Organizer – add member (child ID) under Organizer)
  • Do not give your child their Apple ID Password (or if you give it to them, require that they request permission for each app that they install)
  • Use “Screen Time” in Settings (from there use Downtime, control contacts, Content and Privacy restrictions, do not allow them to clear their history, do not allow apps you can’t monitor, and more!)
  • MONITOR the screen time – and pick up the phone/iPad, etc. and look through it!  Channel your inner detective

How to Use Parental Controls on your child’s iPhone, iPad, and iPod (there are very similar Android protocols as well!)

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201304

https://www.mmguardian.com/blog/how-to-set-up-apple-iphone-screen-time-parental-controls-tutorial

https://blog.ikeymonitor.com/how-to-set-up-parental-controls-on-your-childs-iphone-and-ipad.html

Parenting Screens is HEART WORK!

Three enemies our children have: Satan, the world and the “old man” – and we need to help them guard against all 3 when it comes to screen usage.  Just like we do, our children battle temptations and sin patterns and easily drift in these directions without careful examination of their own hearts.

We are responsible to shepherd their hearts toward love for the Lord.  We can control our own home’s routers and screens, but we cannot control other people’s routers and screens.  If we don’t have their ear/heart it will be like trying to bridle a bucking bronco. 

No monitoring software or parental control replaces ongoing CONVERSATIONS with your children about your expectations and God’s call on their lives (range of topics includes sexting, pornography, bullying, conflict resolution, time management, Phil 4:8 as it relates to music and videos, Deut 6:7-9, cheating, etc.)

Give them increased freedom as they increase in maturity and trustworthiness and parent their hearts through their successes and failures – we don’t want them to leave the house without having had lots of input from you on screen use!!!

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